How You Can Redefine Your Identity After Motherhood


After school, marriage, family, and career (and not necessarily in that order), what’s next? You’ve basically gotten where you said you would be, and all the big-ticket events are in the past. So what now? Does your identity need a new definition?  What awaits around the corner? Do you get caught up in the doldrums of parenthood and repeat the same routine over and over? Do you just mindlessly follow that blueprint of life that you and your family are accustomed to?  If you often find yourself wondering, “what now?” it is a good time to reevaluate some things and make some moves.

It’s common to find yourself STUCK in a midlife, mommy-hood bore, boggled down by the rigor and endless routine of providing for others. Day after day, year after year.  Evenly content, but often wondering what else life has on tap.  Has your identity been tucked away and overshadowed by what your family needs?  Perhaps you’re thinking you’re too mature to party, but too young to knit in front of the TV as a dedicated “Wheel Watcher.”  There must be something “fun” in between.

But when your idea of “fun” consists of play-dates with the kids and chauffeuring them around town to their various activities, it’s time for a identity makeover.  Perhaps life is just a tad, dare I say……..boring. Deep down you are ready to uncover that next layer of life, or fulfill that gap of complacency. Newsflash. No one can fulfill it except you! In fact, this is the perfect time to dig a bit deeper and unlock the key to the next level.

Build more goals. If you find that you’ve checked off most of your goals in life, its time to revisit that list. Expand on your goals or create new ones altogether. Even throw a few on there that are out of your reach. Move from your 5-year plan and start looking ahead to your 10-year plan. Your goals shouldn’t be the same as they were several years ago anyway.  ids have a way of totally reshaping your outlook in general. I’m talking untwisting, throwing across the room, and totally tap-dancing on your little plans for life. But they also help you to uncover dreams you never knew existed. Tap into those ideas and write them down. If life begins beyond your comfort zone, try something amazing!

Involve Yourself. One of the best ways to realize self-actualization and revitalize your identity is to serve.  There is nothing more amazing than working alongside other individuals to help those in need. For every interest, there is an organization. From pets, to elderly,  to homeless populations, they all need you and your time. Involving yourself in your child’s PTA allows you to build relationships with like-minded parents, while developing a vested interest in your child’s academic endeavors. Or serve in a church ministry. Join a local mom’s group. The more you give, the more you will receive. And perhaps pick up some fabulous new friends along the way.

Find a passion. We all have them.  The sooner you can uncover yours, the sooner you will realize something greater. Remember that special gift you USED to have, the one you haven’t thought of in years because…. life happened?  Pick it up and see if you still have it. Or find a new one. We are constantly evolving and developing new strengths. So ask yourself, “what is it that gives me life? What can I work on for hours and loose track of time?” If you haven’t figured it out, you haven’t thought hard enough. Tune into your identity. What if I told you, you could be a mom and feed your soul at the same time?


Your future CAN be a clean slate.  Yes, we all have baggage, mistakes, and unintended circumstances under our belt. And? Such is life. You are not a tree. Therefore, it is never too late to redefine your purpose. Be inspired and add some sass to your life. Juggle away and stay fabulous mamas!







I am a career-driven mother of 3 dedicated to the health, spiritual, and emotional well-being of moms.