Single, Broke, and Possibly Sick. The Waiting Game.

By. Shunda A. Collins.

Okay, yall, it’s TRANSPARENCY TIME. Something that has really bothered me for a LONG time is this idea of the “Name it, Claim it” philosophy… Though it can be used as a way to be positive, I see it to be more harmful setting up a false ideal of God’s will for your life.

Are we waiting on the WRONG thing?

I see women waiting on a “Boaz” (for those less churchy: Boaz, aka, the perfect man to come sweep her off her feet); I see people waiting on money; I see people waiting on someone to change. I see people claiming health, prosperity, abundance, success, etc…

My question is this: Have you even asked God if that is his will for your life?… That man that you’re claiming as your husband, that job that you’re claiming got yo name on it, IS THAT GOD’S WILL FOR YOUR LIFE?

Do not get me wrong. I’m not saying it’s wrong to want to be married. I’m not saying it’s wrong to desire a job. I’m just saying, if you focus and “envision” a certain desire more than you desire the will of God, even when you get that thing, the bliss and happiness it will bring will be temporary. After striving for something for so long, how upsetting would it be for it to not work out? God’s fruit is eternal, so doing his will– which will produce good fruit– is the only way to have eternal joy.

I’m bringing this up because there has been many things in my life that I could be tempted to claim as “mine.” A job, a relationship, my health.
I want to focus on the health….

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Transparency Time

For the past 4 months, I have been experiencing some serious ovarian complications. Ladies, though you may think not having your period for 4 months sounds amazing, it’s also an indication that something is obviously wrong! Having a cycle is a natural process that your body needs for various reasons. So though I didn’t miss the cramps, I knew something was wrong. Long story short, after doing some research and getting blood work done, I have come to the point where it is very possible that I have an incurable disorder. This disorder would mean infertility, possible diabetes and cancer, and a host of other issues.

Usually people would probably rally all the saints, having them pour over their womb and lay hands on them, praying for hours. That’s the logical Christian response, right? I mean, what woman would be okay with a disorder prohibiting her to have children, that will effect her appearance, and possibly kill her!?!?!…. “What man would want to marry such a defective woman?”… These are all real feelings, but let me tell you, THEY CAN TURN INTO STRAIGHT LIES FROM SATAN had I allowed them to sit on my mind for too long.

To be honest, I did think these things for about 5 minutes. However, instead of jumping up declaring health and rebuking the devil, I asked God what he wanted out of this.

Related: Log Off, Shutdown, Reboot. Steps for Self-care.

My prayer went something like this:

“God, I thank you for my life. I have asked you to do what you want with my life. I want to be guided by you and not my own desires/feelings/plans. Yes, it’s not easy to say this, but Lord, if you want this disorder to bring you glory, if you want me to use this to bring more people to you, THEN I’M CONTENT WITH WHATEVER YOU WILL. You came for the sick, not the well. If this illness keeps me in desperate need of depending on you, then I WANT TO BE SICK.. So God, what do YOU want?.. If you want to heal me despite the fact that I have every symptom and the results are positive, THEN SO BE IT.. I thank you and praise you EITHER WAY… Jesus, to you be the glory. In your name I pray, Amen.”

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Why would God want me to be single, broke, and possibly sick?

I know this is probably very different than anything you’ve ever heard. And some of you are probably asking: “Why would God’s will ever be for me to be sick? Or broke? OR SINGLE?”…. But it’s not about that! It’s more about, “Why do you need God if all you have to do is ‘name and claim’ the things you want without ever asking him what he wants?”…

Right now, I am broke, single, and possibly sick… but you know what else: I am waiting on God and I’m VERY CONTENT in doing so.

To leave you with some encouragement, I want to you to know that God’s plan is ALWAYS BEST. He wants the very best for you. Getting to his best may not make us FEEL GOOD, it may not make us successful or happy in the eyes of society, and it may mean we have to give up some of our desires/dreams. But I promise you that he will see your sacrifice and obedience. Great is your reward in Heaven!

If you need prayer or have further questions regarding this topic, please email me at shunda.alyss[at]gmail[dot]com.

Love,

Shunda A. Collins

Originally Published on http://blog.exposedconference.com/?p=101