Ripped: How I Got My Sex Back After That Big Ass Tear!

It is not seemly to talk about sex. And I’m not trying to be unseemly. I also don’t want to scare anyone who is pregnant or in labor right now because you probably won’t wind up with a third degree tear like I did. At least, I hope you don’t. 

Sex After A Bad Tear?

My eight pound baby boy gave me quite the rip. He came naturally (kind of… they induced him, so I blame the Pitocin for my tear) and once he finally started coming, he came out fast. Too fast for my vag to properly stretch and lubricate, apparently. Such is life.

How did I recover? Well they stitched me up and gave me cold packs and lots of Advil. Then two days later they checked it and sent me home. But it still hurt like a beeyotch, and I could barely open my legs to walk up the two flights of stairs to my condo – at least not without ripping my stitches. Back to the doctor. And then they sewed me up wrong. Then they sewed me too tight. And then I keloided. Down there. So then they had to remove the keloids and sew me up again. Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch.

All I can say is if this is happening to you, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

  1. Drugs work. Take them. 
  2. Use the estrogen cream they give you to help things get right back together down there.
  3. Sit as often as you can in a sitz bath. Luxuriate in the sitz bath. The more you use it with Epsom salt, the faster you will heal. Wondering how to make a sitz bath? Click here for the steps.
  4. Watch your step. If you have one of those giant Cinderella beds, get a step stool to get into bed or just sleep on your couch for the first few weeks. Don’t try to open your legs to hop into that big ass bed like I did. Big mistake. Huge.
  5. Talk to your husband (partner, whoever) frankly about what’s happening. Men benefit from understanding that a four-inch tear damn near to the rectum will suspend certain, ahem, activities.
  6. Change doctors if you are not seeing any improvement in your situation.
  7. See your doctor BEFORE the six week mark if you are still bleeding and in any pain at all. I waited too long to go back and the doc said I should’ve come back before six weeks. OK. so why didn’t they TELL ME THAT at the hospital? I’m still a little salty about that. But you can benefit from my experience.
  8. Take the stool softener religiously, especially if your tear is anywhere near your rectum. And drink extra water. And use that sitz bath for the first two or three tries. The warm water helps.
  9. Try to avoid walking too much or going up stairs. Doctors really mean it when they say to sit down. Let the area rest, you know? If you live on a multi-floor house, park yourself on one floor and just live there for a while.
  10. Massage yourself. You might be a bit tight when it’s all healed up. That’s because scar tissue doesn’t stretch. You can massage the area with estrogen cream to help it a bit.
  11. See a pelvic floor specialist if you still experience pain with sex after you’ve healed.

Sex after tear is possible ladies! Just be patient with yourself and be sure to give yourself enough time to heal up the first time.