A hard ass lesson I’ve learned since becoming a mom is that I cannot yet operate at the level I did before I was a mom. Don’t get me wrong, this does not mean that I will never operate at the highest of the high levels from my previous life- I AIN’T GIVING UP! But right now, I don’t have the f*cking energy to do it all and I am temporarily unwilling to try. Because of that, I have perfected the art of saying no. My favorite ways of saying “NO” are: Nope, Hell to the naw naw, and F*ck no. In other words…I cain’t and I ain’t!
I was doing really good today. Great even. I was momming the crap out of today and earning serious Fun Mommy points. Then it all went to *insert poop emoji.* Literally. Here’s how I managed to accomplish my latest fail. Step 1: Fill a storage container with water.
Do your kids love water play in the summer? Of course they do!! Fill a container and let them splash in it. Give them cups, strainers and floating toys to play with. Then let them climb inside and completely soak their clothes. For best results ensure that at least one kid is in diapers. What’s the big deal anyway? How bad could it get?
“Y’all gon’ make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here. Y’all gon’ make me go all out. Up in here, up in here. Y’all gon’ make me act a FOOL. Up in here, up in here. Y’all gon’ make me lose my cool. Up in here, up in here” –DMX
Airlines can’t stay out the news lately can they? They seem to always be doing something awful to passengers. From the doctor who was beat down for not giving up his seat to the mother who was nearly knocked out by her own stroller as it wielded by an airport flight attendant, it seems that flying with baby is mighty perilous these days. Don’t worry, Sassy Plum is here to help you figure out how to do this. You CAN do this mom. You can fly safely and efficiently with your baby, your infant, your toddler or your young kid. And hopefully you can do it with minimal issues.
Blah blah blah. Before I had kids, I had my life all spelled out, including how I would be the perfect parent. Parenting is super easy, manageable, and predictable as long as you are consistent with your rules. Yes, I actually believed that hogwash… until the kids came. Then I realized something really important about myself…I’M HUMAN. It’s funny, I never really considered that in all my pre-planning of my perfect life with perfect kids. I never considered the scenario of parenting being trial and error. Or that I would be too exhausted to consistently uphold rules. Or that breaking those standard rules might actually be fun and add some spice to the monotony. I never considered I would have the audacity to venture off from the status quo and…dare I say…. live a little. Before I had kids, I was a strict and no-nonsense parent.
Every year, March 8th’s International Women’s Day is observed around the world to bring attention to women’s issues, women’s rights and to celebrate womanhood in general. Due to the highly politicized nature of our current democracy, many women are using this day to show solidarity against President Trump and his administration. Women are taking a day off of work and flocking to the streets to stand up for issues they feel may be compromised by new policy measures and decreased funding to agencies that serve as a lifeline to many women. In addition to staying home from work and participating in marches around the world, women are being asked to wear red and avoid shopping to bring awareness to #DayWithoutAWoman.
We have been dodging and weaving negative stereotypes since the beginning of time. America loves portraying us in a negative light and we are so over it. Our narrative reads that Black moms are angry. Uneducated. Won’t work. Can’t find a man. And the men that we do hook up with are dead-beat dads. Call it what you want: lies, untruths, #alternativefacts, but it’s simply all hogwash…skewed perceptions of who we are and what we represent. Basically, Black moms stay chained to America’s whipping post, expected to stand still and accept a public lashing for the state of our communities, poverty, and greater society.
The thought of a new daycare center can be super scary!
Is your toddler headed to a daycare center for the first time? Or are you considering switching locations and you are nervous about your little one’s transition? You are not alone! It can be a really scary feeling. One of the most unsettling feelings imaginable, actually. Not necessarily for the child, but for you, mama! No, you’re not crazy. We always want our children to feel secure, happy, and accepted no matter the situation. Uprooting them from one place and sticking them in another can create tons of anxiety and make us a bit worried about how it will go.
Guess what? Both stay-at-home moms and moms who work outside the home use the hell out of their digital devices and spend a lot of time on social media and watching streamed television shows and movies.
My four-year-old is a great helper. He can put on his pajamas by himself and he can take them off and put the in the dirty clothes hamper. He also sleeps in a pull-up or overnight diaper, and sometimes, in the morning, he throws the pull-up into the hamper as well. And what do I do? Because I am a genius, I dump everything in the basket into my high efficiency washing machine, add some soap and Oxyclean and leave the house.
I got an interesting request the other day. It was from a friend asking me to host a Super Bowl party for “for everyone.” Why? “Because,” she wrote, “You have a big basement. All you have to do is finish the walls, fix the lights and bar and throw a party!” Notwithstanding the fact that someone texted me to suggest I throw a Super Bowl party in my unfinished and not up to code basement, but who would then clean my house, provide the food, breastfeed my newborn while people came over, sanitize everything after they left, shovel and de-ice every walkway, provide the liquor, set the TV up (or buy a new one) and play hostess with the mostess during a five- to seven-hour event?
Are you looking to stand out? Tired of the same boring grays, blacks (yes there are so many shades) and browns? Are you looking for ways to feel better about yourself? Throw on a little color! Did you know that people that wear bright colors may be more likely to get promotions? Now I normally don’t like to associate looks and fashion with job recognition because that is problematic for women on several levels. BUT, I also love color and love to watch it work. And guess what? Color can actually do some amazing things for your emotional health as well! When I wear colors, I feel better about myself and work harder.
Recently, I eavesdropped on a conversation and listened to a woman argue that paid maternity leave is completely unfair. The woman, who does not have children of her own, personally feels the effects of maternity leave because she works alongside many moms in the workplace. I couldn’t “unhear” the statement and decided to jump in. Just to be clear, she wasn’t against the actual leave itself, because she highly understands the importance of moms recuperating at home with their little ones. But rather, the paid portion. Here was her issue, paraphrased:
It is 5am; the alarm goes off and I roll out of bed and jump in my shower while going over my to-do list. “Another day, another dollar, another chance for me to help the kids,” I thought to myself. I am making a difference and what I do matters.” I talked myself up and continued getting prepared to go into the office where I worked as a counselor and school administrator. As I headed to the car and prepared to pull off I found myself thinking, “What the hell am I doing? No really what am I doing?” Here I was resigning myself to just existing. To getting up going to a job, doing a little something to make a difference and coming home. Meanwhile my unique brilliance, my gifts and talents were going unused in a way that was draining me.