Can we talk about baby showers for a sec? Because most of them are traditional, conservative and reserved. If this is your style, then cool! Not hating at all! But if you’re anything like me, you’re a sucker for pushing the envelope and breaking away from monotony. What if I told you that a baby shower can be more like a day-party with the right elements? If you’re still reading, you probably like to switch things up too! Are you interested in throwing a non-boring, co-ed baby shower extravaganza? Do you want a shower that stands out? I’ve got you covered!
Love & Family
The joys of love, marriage, and friendships.
To all my mamas who miss their dearly departed daddies on Father’s Day:
I feel you. You are raising amazing little brown or black boys or a similarly amazing little brown or black girl, and while you do have lots of men in your life, nobody replaces your daddy. No one is stronger, smarter, more protective, funnier, wiser or able to discern how to help you fix your problems more than your pops. At least that’s how it was with mine.
My father was the first man to buy me gold earrings. They were tiny hoops, 24k gold, from Marshall Field’s. I was 14 when I got them on my birthday, and I never knew, until I was much older, that my father gave me jewelry for several reasons. One, so that I would of course be beautifully adorned, but also so that I knew the difference between trash and treasure. The situation of the creepy man on the street, hanging out at my high school and trying to give away cheap gold-plated rings or bracelets to girls in exchange for sex (which really happened, by the way) never happened to me. I didn’t need to trade sexual favors for gold from strangers. My pops gave me jewelry, not a lot of it, but enough to make it clear that I never needed to gold dig – not while I had a mother and a father and an entire extended family happy to help me get whatever I needed (and sometimes wanted) in life.
To grow and deliver a tiny human being is no small feat. The impact of pregnancy on the human body can vary drastically from one person to the next. Some women come out unscathed while others have lasting scars and/or conditions to remind them of their journey to motherhood. In fact many try, to no avail, to conceive spontaneously only to be faced with years of infertility or recurrent pregnancy loss. Some mommies have lovingly adopted children or welcomed bonus babies into their blended families. So, with families nationwide celebrating Mother’s Day today, I wanted to take a look at pregnancy and motherhood from the perspective of a few mom friends.
My mommy friends can wine and dine me, honey!
We don’t get out often, can’t you tell? We’ve been drifting in this thing called motherhood for a while now, some of us longer than others, and we get a little too excited when we get to pop out on the town. Why? Because of life, kids, motherhood…did I mention life? Getting in a quick date during the week after a long day of work can be a great way to break up the monotony. Weekends are even better! But rest assured, when we do get out we have a ball! And this is why moms should date their mommy friends.
It is not seemly to talk about sex. And I’m not trying to be unseemly. I also don’t want to scare anyone who is pregnant or in labor right now because you probably won’t wind up with a third degree tear like I did. At least, I hope you don’t.
Make your marriage work! The best way to be married is to be happily married. I mean who wants to be unhappy? Who wants to dread having yet another silly argument with their spouse? Who wants to excel in other areas of their life yet feel stressed out in their marriage? Ummm…no one! Now don’t get me wrong, I know it takes effort to have a happy marriage. If there was a magic wand for marriage, I would have had two or three of them by now.
Yep I’m still nursing a toddler. Deal with it.
Before becoming a mom, I knew that I would nurse. I had girlfriends whom I considered role model mommas and they nursed their children so of course I would too. The first few weeks were tough and then there was the first time I got gummed…wow! I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes (and tits) but I persevered! He nursed every 2.5 hours like clock work. I was like, “Damn…again? Son, it’s 3 AM. Son, it’s 5:30 AM. SON, it’s 8 AM. Son of a… it’s 10:30AM!”
20 fingers, 20 toes, twice the cries and twice the love! So you’re having twins and are pulling out your hair trying to decide what to expect!
Sassy Plum asked our favorite twin moms for advice on preparing for 2 babies. Here are some common questions.
When I breastfed my babies I always covered up. I’m not as brave or body-positive as my mom friends that don’t care who sees or stares. For the most part I used a muslin blanket or nursing cover (get these discounted or FREE with coupon codes, just sign up for emails!). But which way is the best way to go? Let loose or cover up?
Black family reunions.
Matching t-shirts, picnics, whiffs of tender BBQ floating through the air, line-dancing, everyone getting along… well getting along most of the time. You know what I’m talking about. Oh yes, the black family reunion, baby! It’s a pretty standard concept and most of us have been to one, whether we bounce through every few years or attend regularly. You always know when family reunion season hits because summer weekends get clogged with festivities and you can spot those t-shirts anywhere! I should know, I have about 17 from my childhood.
Happy Belated Black Marriage Day! Confused? How many people knew that this past Sunday was a national holiday for black married couples? I didn’t know, and I try to stay “in the know” about many things happening in and around our community. #BlackMarriageDay didn’t come down my timeline, no one posted about it. And I got to thinking, this day needs more attention! If you’re anything like me and didn’t know, then don’t fret. Okay so maybe we are late celebrating it this year, but come next year we are showing up and showing out. Who’s with me?
Mamas! We have all been there. Engorged. Pressed for time. Determined to find any place to pump milk for our babies! We will jump through hoops, break through red tape, and pump in unthinkable spaces. No matter the challenge, we will be creative and find a place to pump!
Anyone who thinks breastfeeding a baby is easy and comes naturally for every mother has no idea. It’s supposed to be a perfect, synchronized act in theory, right? Then why can it be so complicated? Because it’s an absolute lifestyle change. A game-changer. A life-changing event. The amount of time we spend prepping, talking about it and doing it is so extensive, it can easily become the center of our lives and a part of our very existence. It can also be traumatic and disappointing if it doesn’t go right. It may seem simple to the untrained eye. But for someone that breastfed 3 babies, please believe me when I say it takes a whole lot of things to align in order for it to be successful. It actually takes an entire village to just breastfeed one baby.
On Valentine’s Day, time stands still. It is the day of relationship-reckoning and the stakes are high, everyone is watching, it’s do or die. Cuddle-season is well underway for those out there dating, a select few husbands are trying to work their way out the doghouse, and the waters are being tested to see who will step up to the plate and deliver a Valentine’s Day for the record books. Somewhere, someone will end up engaged, someone will end up back in the dog house (men… do better!), and others will end up annoyed with the sappiness of the entire day. #TewMurch