“Don’t Lose Your Mind Evacuation Plan” For Stressed Moms

By Nicole Walker

“Y’all gon’ make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here. Y’all gon’ make me go all out. Up in here, up in here. Y’all gon’ make me act a FOOL. Up in here, up in here. Y’all gon’ make me lose my cool. Up in here, up in here” –DMX

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thIVtEOtlWM

No, you are not crazy, I am quoting a song by DMX. Let’s keep it real moms! How many times during the week does this song pop in your head when dealing with your kids? For me at least twice a week 🙂 Many moms know this anthem just like I do! Let me explain…

Have you ever felt like you were teetering on a ledge or cliff and you needed someone to come talk you off? *Raises hand* ME!

Now don’t get me wrong. I LOVE being a mom, truly feel blessed to have this experience, and love my kids. But I am convinced that they have special powers to drive mommies (and daddies) NUTS. I often feel like my 4 year-old AND 6 year-old are truly going to make me lose my mind when they don’t listen (let’s just call a spade a spade – blatantly ignore me), choose to fight over the same toys (EVERYDAY) and are on a constant mission to antagonize and tell on each other all the time! Enters the ledge…. or a long walk off a short cliff… pick your poison!

C’mon moms. You know the feeling! The feeling that you could lose it at any moment. That you are on the edge and not sure if you can step away from the ledge. When your blood pressure is rising and you feel like you could snap but suddenly remember that these are your children that you love unconditionally and you cannot go off on them like they are adults. My kids’ new line (with tears for added effect) is, “Mommy why are you talking to us so sternly?”

“Because sweethearts, mommy is about to LOSE IT!“

SIDEBAR: So I admit, I have acted a fool once or twice but I didn’t get the expected result. They looked at me like I was crazy, started crying, and then 2 hours later my 4 year-old approached me and said, “Mommy, I’m sorry I made you angry.”(Awwww)! Only to go back and do the same thing within 24 -48 hours! (WTH?)

“Now back to the lecture at hand”… it is imperative that, as moms, we maintain our sanity at all costs because if we really do lose it one day our homes and families will fall apart. We have to keep our mommy super powers in tact! So I’ve gone ahead and created an evacuation plan for the times you have no one to talk you off a ledge…

Disclaimer: It’s fool-proof, so don’t worry about breaking it

Step #1

Yell for your partner or spouse (as loud as you can in case they are watching the game and are distracted) to come here right away. Calmly explain that you are about to lose it and that you need him/her to intercede immediately. I emphasize CALMLY because if they even get the hint that you are going off on them to they will shut you down and keep doing whatever they were busy doing (even if its nothing). My line “Babbbbeeee please help.” His response, “R & R (that’s what he calls them) come here!” So now that’s out the way.

Go to the bathroom, close the door.  Inhale … exhale… 5 times. If door knocking commences calmly ask for them to “Go play and give mommy a minute, I will be out in 5 minutes.”  Or more.

If Step #1 and #2 do not provide any relief, ABORT ABORT. Calmly pick up your things, leave the house and go to the grocery store to pick up anything. Better yet drive around aimlessly until you are pretty sure the kids have gone down for their nap or to bed. I am good for hanging out in the alley and watching my children’s bedrooms to see if the light are out and if not, not walk in until the lights are out for at least 15 minutes.

Now I do understand that situations will not always be conducive to activating the “Don’t Lose Your Mind Evacuation Plan.” What do you do instead?  Make a commitment to yourself to always take time for yourself on a regular basis. This way no matter how far the kids may push you would have either 1) just had a mommy-break a few days prior or 2) have an upcoming mommy-break you can look forward to enjoying.  Regular mommy-breaks will not eliminate the “Ya’ll Gon Make Me Lose My Mind” moments, but they will at least help you manage them better!

#EveryMomNeedsAMommyBreak